First, I plan to soil myself. Then, I'm going to regroup and come up with a new plan.*

For those of you who don't know me, my life is made up of many people who are teachers.

I envy them for a number of reasons, which include, but are not limited to:

1. They can actually make a difference in the lives of children.

2. That leads to a sense of purpose when they go to work every day.

3. They all really love what they do.

But all of those wonderful things aside, there is one benefit that rises above all.

It is the glorious 9 weeks that they have off every summer.

And when I say envy, I don't mean that I'm a tad jealous.

I mean that I have the forest green kind of covetousness that makes my eyes cross and my soul twist.

Now that I am dating one, my jealousy has reached new heights.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for all of them, and they definitely deserve it.

But knowing that they are home and enjoying their days, I have devoted my time to try and figure out just how I can have the summer off as well.

I have come up with a few ideas so far.

1. Scratch offs.

2. Mega Millions.

3. Selling my blood.

I think I need a new plan. Any ideas?

*bonus points if you know what movie that's from.